We all have basic human needs and one of these is “Belongingness and love” (Abraham Maslow)
However we cannot expect all our needs to be met by one or two people! When you were a child, your needs were met by a range of people – parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters, cousins, teachers and other significant adults. As we grow older we look to our friends to fulfil our needs as well. Think about the people in your life who you do different things with, or share interests with. It’s unlikely it will be just one and yet we expect so much from our partners when we are ready to settle down!!
Our early journey through life can determine the sort of person we look for as a lifelong partner. If you have grown up without one parent or another, then you may be looking to fill that “gap” in your life. Many people believe that a parents’ break up is due to the child’s behaviour or the child wasn’t “good enough” for the parent and that’s why s/he left.
Another factor in ALL relationships is your belief and value systems. If you have vastly different beliefs and values then there is no way that your relationship will last. Think of the people closest to you and the reason you get on is that you have a lot in common. The same things are important to you both.
If you are unaware of your own beliefs and values as well as that of the other person then the relationship will inevitably break down. Many parent/ teenage relationships hit a rough patch when the young person is testing their own beliefs and values against those of their parents.
OTHER COMMON CAUSES OF RELATIONSHIP STRESS
- Affairs / infidelity / cheating
- Sexual Problems,
- Lack of communication and /or support
- Life stages – you have ‘outgrown’ each other
- Traumatic and/or Life-Changing Events
- Financial Problems – redundancy
- Problems with children, infertility
- Health issues – physical and emotional
- Responsibility for elderly parents
- Domestic violence
- Unequal sharing of responsibilities
- Unrealistic Expectations
- Addictions – alcohol, drugs, gambling etc
- Long term absence (In armed services, working away from home or in prison)
- Long-term stress at work
So why come to STRESSWORX? Discover how you can break down the barriers from the past to allow you to move forward and find peace of mind.