It’s National Stress Awareness Day
RESILIENCE
Resilience is our ability to adapt and bounce back when things don’t go as planned. Resilient people don’t wallow or dwell on failures; they acknowledge the situation, learn from their mistakes, and then move forward.
According to the research of leading psychologist, Susan Kobasa, there are three elements that are essential to resilience:
- Challenge– Resilient people view a difficulty as a challenge, not as a paralyzing event. They look at their failures and mistakes as lessons to be learned from, and as opportunities for growth. They don’t view them as a negative reflection on their abilities or self-worth.
- Commitment– Resilient people are committed to their lives and their goals, and they have a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning. Commitment isn’t just restricted to their work – they commit to their relationships, their friendships, the causes they care about, and their religious or spiritual beliefs.
- Personal Control– Resilient people spend their time and energy focusing on situations and events that they have control over. Because they put their efforts where they can have the most impact, they feel empowered and confident. Those who spend time worrying about uncontrollable events can often feel lost, helpless, and powerless to act.
Another leading psychologist, Martin Seligman, says the way that we explain setbacks to ourselves is also important. (He talks in terms of optimism and pessimism rather than resilience; however, the effect is essentially the same.) This “explanatory style” is made up of three main elements:
Permanence – People who are optimistic (and therefore have more resilience) see the effects of bad events as temporary rather than permanent. For instance, they might say “My boss didn’t like the work I did on that project” rather than “My boss never likes my work.”
- Pervasiveness– Resilient people don’t let setbacks or bad events affect other unrelated areas of their lives. For instance, they would say “I’m not very good at this” rather than “I’m no good at anything.”
- Personalization– People who have resilience don’t blame themselves when bad events occur. Instead, they see other people, or the circumstances, as the cause. For instance, they might say “I didn’t get the support I needed to finish that project successfully,” rather than “I messed that project up because I can’t do my job.”
There are other C’s to resilience as well as challenge, commitment, and control. These are competence, confidence, connection, (with others) character, contribution, coping, culture, and communities. These play an enormous part in shaping us as individuals. For example if you have grown up in a culture or community of drugs and crime, then it’s much harder to be resilient and I have nothing but admiration for those who rise above it and make something of their lives.
It’s much easier to go with the flow, whatever that is. It’s the same with peer pressure; many succumb to what they perceive to be an easy life, regardless of the consequences.
How we view adversity and stress strongly affects how we succeed, and this is one of the most important reasons that having a resilient mindset is so important .It’s inevitable that we make some mistakes in life but we can learn from them and not repeat them .